November 24, 2019
I’m tired. The end.
I’m just kidding! Well not really, but just kidding meaning that’s obviously not the end of this blog post, because although that sums me up to a T these days, there’s so much change happening to my baby girl! First of all, HOW has 6 months passed already since giving birth to her? I often joke that it should feel like the longest 6 months of my life since sleep is few and far between so the days and weeks just seem to blend together, then I look at her now comfortable in 9mo clothes and just think “When did you grow up right before my eyes?” It’s unbelievable how fast babies change but what I think is even more unbelievable is the amount of love I feel for this tiny human. It’s true what they say, that your babies are your heart walking around outside your body, which is equal parts terrifying and beautiful all at the same time. That whole Mama Bear instinct? I knew I had it before she was even born, so now that she’s here it’s even more clear. I’m thankful for this, because if you’ve been following my motherhood journey from the beginning, you’ll know that I wasn’t totally convinced I would even be a good mom, so feeling this overwhelming sense of love and protection for my daughter makes me feel “normal” and I love it!
As far as a 6 month update goes, Grace doesn’t have any teeth popping through yet but I know it’s only a matter of time given the buckets of drool this kid produces on the daily. She hasn’t mastered rolling from back to stomach yet either…but honestly my husband and I both agreed that she’s just skipping that and going right to crawling and walking. She LOVES to stand (assisted of course). She loves her big furry sisters and they love licking her hands and feet (much to our dismay…we see what they eat when they are outside so yes we wipe her hands every time!). She also loves bananas and would eat a full one if we let her. Sleeping? It’s for the weak, unless it’s right after a drink of the house white right from the tap 😉 (Thanks for that perfect analogy Katie!) She loves her grandparents and they are just as smitten with her, I mean how can you not be? She’s the cutest! Getting her to laugh is my new favorite thing and I feel like supermom when I get her to belly laugh! It really is music to my ears. She is starting to splash around at bath time and hates getting out because she gets cold. I had to cut her first little hairs a couple weeks back because they had grown so long they were almost in her eyes so like any first time mom, I saved the cut hairs in some tape and will put it into her baby book whenever I get around to filling it out 😉
I love this stage for so many reasons, but it’s also the most challenging stage since she was a newborn. I’ve noticed that my postpartum depression symptoms like to pop up more when we’ve had a rough night and she is up 4-5 times which makes the following days pretty challenging emotionally. I haven’t really talked about my struggle with PPD but yes, I did and still do suffer from it. I try to not let it affect the little amount of time I do have with her but sometimes it can’t be helped. If you’re a mom reading this who struggles with PPD, please know you’re not alone or broken or that something is wrong with you. It totally sucks but it’s also totally normal and it helps having someone to vent to every once in a while. I’ve also found that it’s incredibly important to take time for yourself when you’re feeling especially down. I used to feel guilty about this because I spend 40+ hours a week at work away from her, but being at my desk job doesn’t bring me joy necessarily, so I need to make a conscious effort to do something that does bring me joy while she’s away at her grandparents house or out having daddy-daughter time. Guys, I can’t stress this enough, it’s SO important and can be such a mood lifter. It won’t take away the PPD pain, but it will help ease it for a bit.
Not exactly the happy note I planned to end this blog post on but hey, this is life with a 6 month old! It’s not all unicorns and rainbows but it’s not all doom and gloom either. Sometimes I go to bed knowing we got by, just barely but we all got by and I did my best and that’s good enough for me. Then I look over and she smiles in her sleep and everything seems right with the world. ♥